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Now is the Best Moment

October 4, 2012

Greetings Blogosphere! How goes it?! I’m Sleeping Booty and I’ll be your author today(and every 2nd Thursday from here on out) and I can barely contain how excited I am to get rolling on this project. It’s been a long year since graduation, and I’m just bursting with titillating twenty-something topics. From job hunting and wedding planning to teaching abroad and long-distance relationships, it seems like all I hear about lately are stories of reaching for and breaking up with dreams. It’s getting absurd how often I have lunch with someone who has just quit their job to go to culinary school or shook my head at someone who just needs a few more months before they’ll dump their boyfriend. This time in our lives is volatile and dramatic; one little push can make us go flying. But it’s exciting and fantastic too; I can’t count how many real adults have told me to just have fun and enjoy it. So while it’s difficult to shake the fear that this might be my best moment ever, I like to believe that today is the best moment of my life so far.

I’ve dealt with a lot of change in the last few weeks. My summer job ended, my fellow naughty princess and roommate got married, my grandfather died too soon and I packed everything I own in a rental car, moving across two states back in with my parents. It’s been intense, but now I find myself at a standstill, with no plan or direction to speak of.

Compared to many twenty-somethings, the world is at my fingertips. I have a decent degree and no expensive addictions to speak of. I don’t have a significant other to worry about staying near or crippling student loans to pay back. I don’t even have an overbearing family to appease. All I have to worry about is following my dreams. And by all accounts, I should be able to reach them.

But lately my dreams have become reoccurring nightmares of forgetting my basketball shoes before a big game. I rush frantically trying to tie my lace or squeeze my foot into someone else’s extra pair while the referee starts the game without me. What does it say about my waking life when my subconscious thinks I’m under-prepared? How am I supposed to follow my dreams when they repeatedly tell me I’m ill-equipped?

I know I have a ridiculous amount of support from friends, family and random strangers I pour my heart out to on the bus. And I’m not here to whine about how difficult it is to choose the best out of a hundred different paths to happiness. But sometimes I let the pressure get to me and think about how many things I could be missing out on. No matter what I do, one part of myself is going to get the short end of the stick.

But even though I know that threat of future regret is always going to be there, I also know that everyone else is right there with me. And that means that we’re going to be ok. I stumbled upon this adorable YouTube mini series a while back and a certain phrase has stuck with me and become my mantra as well. So I’m going to make now the best moment of my life. And I’m going to keep it up.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. thelittlemerskank permalink*
    October 4, 2012 3:11 pm

    I want to express my moment of deep disappointment when I clicked on the video and all that came up was ‘the uploader has not made this video available in your country.’

    • October 4, 2012 8:50 pm

      the show is dating rules from my future self. episode 9. you really can’t see it!?

      • thelittlemerskank permalink*
        October 5, 2012 1:34 am

        Sadly no–

  2. October 6, 2012 4:11 am

    ditto. Oh, the sacrifices we make to live abroad.

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