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Barrage of Babies!!!

January 8, 2013

I love babies. They are cute, easy to cuddle, and even when they make a huge mess, you still can’t help but love them. They are a wonderful part of life. However, as a twenty something, I am not ready to jump on the baby bandwagon. Unfortunately  as numerous facebook posts  have recently shown me, a lot of my friends are happily aboard.

For the past two holiday seasons, my facebook newsfeed has been chock full of engagement announcements and wedding albums. And while the number of couples getting hitched was reaching astronomical levels, I felt I was handling it relatively well. I was about to be engaged myself, and I felt ready to be in the stage of life where my friends were getting married. And I believed that this stage would still last a few more years. But unbeknownst to me Facebook had horrors in store for me this holiday season. Instead of the usual barrage of engagement posts, I suddenly found myself in the midst of a barrage of babies with no way to escape!

I couldn’t believe it! Babies?? Already? Most of these people had only been married a year or two, at least half of them were around my age, and one couple had even been married less time than me (which is shocking because I’ve only been married for four months).  I literally could not handle it. I still don’t think I can. I’m sorry world, but I am only 24 and it is NOT baby time yet! I still can’t figure my own life out, so I can’t even imagine having another tiny, helpless life to deal with. I don’t mean to sound cruel, because as I said I like babies, I just feel very strongly that it is not yet time for all of my newlywed friends to be having them. To give you an idea of the horrors I found on facebook, I will give you a list of some of the most scary baby posts I saw.

1. A post saying “Merry Christmas from the three of us” ( and then a picture of the couple standing by the Christmas tree while the girl holds her stomach).

2. A photo shopped picture showing the guy, then a plus sign, then the girl, then an equals three sign.

3. A picture of two pairs of feet standing on a beach, with a pair of baby shoes next to them.

4. (this is by far the most horrific one). A post that a mother to be put up as she was at the hospital in labor, saying “I’m at 4cm–6cm to go!” (thanks, that’s just the thought I want as I get ready to head to work this morning).

So thank you facebook for once again being the source of much emotional trauma. And be aware that when I eventually am in labor sometime in the future, there is no way in hell that I am posting about it.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 10, 2013 10:08 am

    Don’t worry, Snow Whore. You won’t have to post to facebook because I’ll be right there with you, streaming live video of that giant-headed spawn of yours crowning!

    • snowwhore permalink*
      January 10, 2013 11:41 am

      gee, you know just how to cheer me up don’t you?

  2. January 11, 2013 3:10 pm

    can I direct it?! I promise it will be in good taste. only the most flattering of vagina angles. “we need more light!”

  3. January 13, 2013 12:16 am

    Baby’s first music video! What song should we use, Snow Whore?

  4. snowwhore permalink*
    January 14, 2013 11:15 am

    good grief, make it stop.

  5. January 16, 2013 11:20 am

    Baby it’s cold outside? Baby got back? Hit me baby one more time? oh i’ve got it! we’re definitely going with the Beibs, can’t you just hear us singing along? “Baby, Baby, Baby.. OH!”

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