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Never Been Kissed

June 3, 2013

So, ladies and gentlemen of the internet world, I have a confession to make.  I am 23, and I have never been kissed. Never-Been-Movie

Is this weird?  Isn’t that something that is supposed that happen to you when you are sixteen?  If not before?  Somehow ‘sweet twenty-three and never been kissed’ just doesn’t have the same ring.  But well, that is the reality of my lie: more than 23 years on the planet and not a single kiss from a guy.

So, yeah, somehow I gather this is supposed to be a problem.  The other day, I mentioned my lack of kissing experience in passing to a friend and her response was ‘oh honey, I’m sorry’–in almost the same tone reserved for expressing sympathy for terminal diseases.

But here’s the thing: I’ve never really had anyone to kiss.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gone on my share of dates, and feel quite confident that I could of elicited some kissing action out of at least a few of them– but somehow I have never wanted to.  It’s always been one of those moments of I’m-just-not-that-into-you.  And, maybe I am purist, but I have never had the desire smooch my lips against the face of someone else whom I wasn’t crazy about.  It just doesn’t sound appealing, and in instances where it seemed like it was coming, I have always managed to stave it off.  Keep your kissing to yourself.

So yeah, I have tended to be somewhat conflicted about the whole kissing thing: often happy to have avoided it, but then also sometimes embarrassed about the whole ‘never been kissed thing’.  But this all changed a few weeks ago.

hamsters-kissSo, you might remember that I have this friend, Percival?  (If not check out my post.) Well, things are still sort of complicated between us, but he came to visit a few weeks ago- technically he was in the UK figuring out his living situation for next year- but yep, a couple days in Oxford were definitely part of the plan.  We had a great time while he was here (no kissing… don’t get too excited, if that was where you though this was going you were wrong).  We ate, went on walks, and generally just had a nice weekend.  But during this idyllic weekend I asked him one of the big questions: what, exactly, was his past relationship history with women?  And you know what, he didn’t have one.  No girlfriends, no sex, no kissing.  He even had me beat: twenty-seven and never been kissed.

But you know, I couldn’t have been happier about Percival’s confession.  Although some people might be embarrassed, to me it meant that he was a strong person, who didn’t need to always be with someone else to feel completed, who hadn’t caved to idea that relationships should be your mark of a successful life.  He had waited patiently, for the right time and the right person.  And really, all of sudden the fact that I had never been kissed didn’t seem like such a bad thing after all.  In fact, I was happy about it.

Although, of course, if any kissing happens, I’ll let you know.  Does anyone else have any good stories about being kissed- or being not kissed?

15 Comments leave one →
  1. snowwhore permalink*
    June 3, 2013 4:14 pm

    Well, I know I’m married now, but I didn’t have my first kiss until twenty one. And I would definitely say that you shouldn’t worry about it. I know that as a girl you automatically do anyway but take it from me, you don’t nessecarily want to have a million kisses. I haven’t had nearly that many, but I will say that once you have the man you will be with forever, those are the only kisses you want to remember.

  2. Rob permalink
    June 3, 2013 11:32 pm

    IMHO you need to resolve this. Set yourself a deadline. If all else fails, come to Lincoln and I’ll kiss you.

  3. June 4, 2013 7:20 am

    I love this post. Thanks for sharing MS. I’m glad you both get to figure it out together too, it’s almost like you’re meant to be… And as for knowing what to do when the time comes I assure you, it will come easier than you expect.

    • thelittlemerskank permalink*
      June 4, 2013 8:00 am

      Thanks, Booty– I am glad you liked it! But fess up: tell us a kissing story!

  4. June 4, 2013 7:27 am

    I agree with you–it shouldn’t matter when you get your “first kiss,” as if that was some kind of huge deal.

  5. June 4, 2013 7:29 am

    And as for good stories…I got my first kiss in typical high school movie style, and I’d have to say it was pretty great. Then later he took me to the movies but didn’t hold my hand, so I got pissed. When he tried to kiss me good-bye in the parking lot I dodged and turned it into a hug instead. You can guess how that relationship turned out…

    • thelittlemerskank permalink*
      June 4, 2013 8:01 am

      This is the same guy who danced with you in the street, right? Surely he gets props for that…

  6. June 4, 2013 11:11 am

    You want a kissing story? Well you know me MS, I’m no good at keeping stories short and sweet… Remember that manifesto I’m writing?

    So far it is 40 pages and includes all three stories of the people I’ve kissed… If I try to tell the story without the details you’ll miss all the important parts! But I suppose for you I’ll say that my favorite first kiss was #2 (though all were movie quality) because we’d broken into a graveyard and been building up to it for 5 hours (not to mention 2 years) and because i said, so should we count down?

  7. June 4, 2013 2:25 pm

    I say you go girl! If more people took kissing more seriously there would be less heart break and more women who respect themselves and have high standards. More girls should be looking at your for role modeling when it comes to dating and men, at least more so than most celebrities girls choose now a days… I say if you don’t want to smush your lips on someone yet, then don’t! …Although my guilty love for romantic stories wants your story to end with your lips on Percival’s 😉

    • thelittlemerskank permalink*
      June 6, 2013 4:05 am

      I am glad you agree, Katie! Thanks for the encouragement. Also… as far as romantic stories go, in a couple of weeks, Percival and I are going to Prague for his friend’s wedding… in a castle. Who knows, anything could happen 🙂

      • June 6, 2013 7:04 am

        That is so romantic! My parent’s first date was to a wedding… just saying 😉 Have fun!

      • August 27, 2013 6:53 am

        Hi Littlemerskank!

        Hope you’re well? I’d really like to speak to you about never being kissed. I think it’s really inspirational that you’re saving your kiss for someone special. Percival sounds like a keeper.

        The reason I’m getting in touch is because I’m a features writer for the national newspapers and women’s magazines here in the UK and wondered if you’d be interested in sharing your story?

        Many people would be fascinated to hear about it.

        The story would be dealt with the utmost sensitivity and you would be paid for your time.

        If this sounds like something you might be interested in then please drop me a email on or call 0121 551 1004 anytime.

        I look forward to hearing from you.

        Best wishes

        Chelsea x

  8. June 5, 2013 6:32 pm

    Good for you! My first kiss wasn’t until I was 20. I was really self-conscious about this in college, especially when we had dorm get-togethers during which people would talk about all of the dirty things they’d done. I would avoid eye-contact and hope no one asked me to ‘fess up, because I hadn’t even kissed a guy.

    Not counting childhood/truth-or-dare pecks, my first kiss was actually an unwanted one. I had gone on a date with a guy who I wasn’t really into. He walked me to my door at the end of the date and asked for a kiss before I went inside. I smiled and awkwardly shook my head no, but he went for it anyway. Needless to say I was pretty angry.

    But my first real kiss was from my now boyfriend of 4.5 years. I forgot what we were talking about before the kiss, but he said, “Would your mom approve of this?” right before going in. It was incredibly corny, but it worked, I guess 🙂

    • thelittlemerskank permalink*
      June 6, 2013 4:06 am

      Wow, that story of your ‘first kiss’ sounds pretty traumatic- but I am glad you had a better second one to make up for it! Thanks for sharing!

    • June 6, 2013 10:42 am

      “would your mom approve of this?” YES. That is a great line if I’ve ever heard one.

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